


Tapdancing Her Way Right Back Into Your Heart

by LilyK



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:21:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28989888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: Starsky goes undercover as Ramon, the dance instructor, and Hutch as wealthy Texan rancher and dance student, Charlie McCabe, to expose a blackmail operation.
Kudos: 1
Collections: Starsky & Hutch Original Series Transcripts





	Tapdancing Her Way Right Back Into Your Heart


    TAPDANCING HER WAY RIGHT BACK INTO YOUR HEART
    
    Season 2, Episode 9 
    
    Original Airdate: November 20, 1976 
    
    Written by: Edward J. Lakso
    Created by: William Blinn
    Directed by: Fernando Lamas
    
    Summary: Starsky goes undercover as Ramon, the dance instructor, and Hutch as wealthy Texan rancher and dance student, Charlie McCabe, to expose a blackmail operation. 
    
    
    Cast: 
    

David Soul ... Det. Ken 'Hutch' Hutchinson

Paul Michael Glaser ... Det. Dave Starsky

Antonio Fargas ... Huggy Bear

Bernie Hamilton ... Capt. Harold Dobey

DeVeren Bookwalter ... Carl Starger

Veronica Hamel ... Marianne Tustin

Liam Sullivan ... A.C. Chambers

Sondra Currie ... Marsha Stearns

Audrey Christie ... Ginger Evans

Dorothy Shay ... Claire Dodsman

Nora Marlowe ... Diedre

Nicholas Stamos ... Officer

Harold Jones ... Robber
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Dance Studio**
    
    DIEDRE: Ramon, when do we dip?
    
    STARSKY: Pardon?
    
    DIEDRE: When do we dip? You do dip?
    
    STARSKY: I dip.
    
    DIEDRE: I wanna do it.
    
    STARSKY: Right here? Right now?
    
    DIEDRE: You don't think I'm ready?
    
    STARSKY: Oh, you're ready.
    
    DIEDRE: Good, but tell me I can't.
    
    STARSKY: You can't.
    
    DIEDRE: Tell me it's wrong.
    
    STARSKY: It's wrong.
    
    DIEDRE: Evil?
    
    STARSKY: Evil.
    
    DIEDRE: Ramon… we mustn't.
    
    STARSKY: We must.
    
    DIEDRE: Oh, Ramon, you are wicked.
    
    STARSKY: I confess.
    
    HUTCH: There she is.
    
    STEARNS: Hello, Mr. McCabe. How are you today?
    
    HUTCH: How I am is raring to get to my dancing lesson.
    
    STEARNS: You're a little early.
    
    HUTCH: Early and eager. Here, this is for you.
    
    STEARNS: That's very sweet. Uh, Mr. McCabe, Mr. Dodsman has a few more minutes left.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah. Well, you better get off them dogs there, pardner. You're looking a little tuckered. Why don't you go rest your buns.
    
    STEARNS: We'll pick it up later, if you don't mind.
    
    HUTCH: Thank you. Now, where were we?
    
    STEARNS: Would you take your hat off?
    
    HUTCH: Oh, I am sorry. I am sorry.
    
    STEARNS: Hmm. What's that aroma?
    
    HUTCH: Oh, you like that?
    
    STEARNS: It's very nice.
    
    HUTCH: That's toilet water. Now, where were we?
    
    STEARNS: The tango.
    
    HUTCH: The tango. That's where you stick your arm out.
    
    STEARNS: That's right. Easy, now.
    
    HUTCH: Easy.
    
    STEARNS: You ready?
     
    HUTCH: Ready.
    
    STEARNS: Okay. One and two and… Whoa! You certainly know how to sweep a girl off her feet, Mr. McCabe.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, now, now, now, now, now, you don't call me Mr. McCabe. It's Charlie, honey. Charlie "Honey" McCabe.
    
    STEARNS: That's a real cute name.
    
    HUTCH: Well, not nearly as cute as you are sweet, Marsha.
    
    STEARNS: Oh.  You remembered my name.
    
    HUTCH: Well, sure. Let's do it.
    
    STEARNS: Okay. Whoa! Oh, Charlie...
    
    HUTCH: Oh, that's her. That's her. That's Ginger Evans.
    
    STEARNS: Ginger, this fine gentleman would like to meet you.
    
    EVANS: My pleasure, Mr. ah...?
    
    HUTCH: Mr. McCabe. Mr. Charlie McCabe from Austin, Texas.
    
    EVANS: Texas. Oh, I'll bet you own a lot of cows and a lot of prairie.
    
    HUTCH: Well, to tell you the truth, ma'am, my tastes do run in the high-priced spread.
    
    EVANS: Well, this is Mr. Chambers, the chairman of our advisory committee, and my newest dance instructor, Ramon.
    
    HUTCH: Well, pleased to meet you, Ramon.
    
    CHAMBERS: He's Ramon. I'm Chambers.
    
    STARSKY: How do you do?
    
    HUTCH: You got it. I gotta tell you, Miss Evans...
    
    EVANS: Please, call me Ginger.
    
    HUTCH: They're never gonna believe this back home, Ginger. You know, I've been a fan of yours ever since- Ever since I was a kid. I learned all them dances you did in them big movies. Of course, I couldn't do them as well as you did, but I sure was, uh, popular at all my high-school dances.
    
    EVANS: You're very kind, Charlie.  You don't mind if I call you Charlie?
    
    HUTCH: Oh, shoot, no. Listen… Listen, Ginger. I have to ask you something.
    
    EVANS: Oh.
    
    HUTCH: Do you think it would be possible if you and me, the two of us, could dance just one time?
    
    EVANS: Oh… Well, now, I'll tell you what, Charlie. You just work on your lesson with Marsha, and then tonight, you come to my soiree and you and I will attempt a little terpsichore.
    
    HUTCH: Terpsichore at Ginger's soiree. Somebody pinch me. I should go dance.
    
    EVANS: Isn't he charming?
    
    STARSKY: If that's your style.
    
    EVANS: Deidre, I think Ramon is jealous.
    
    DEIDRE: Oh, I don't think...
    
    STARGER: Who's the clod kicker?
    
    CHAMBERS: Name's McCabe. He's from Texas.
    
    STARGER: I'd have never guessed.
    
    EVANS: Look, he is our guest and a fan.  Oh, come on, everyone. Let us dance.
    Up, up on your feet.
    
    
    **Exterior – Day – Hot Dog Stand**
    
    HUTCH: You wanna give me a dog, please? 
    
    STARSKY: "Terpsichore at Ginger's soiree." Not bad, huh? 
    
    HUTCH: Well, when you got it, boy, flaunt it.
    
    STARSKY: Tustin's sister's coming to town. Dobey thinks we ought to talk to her.
    He'd also like to know what we've found out.
    
    HUTCH: Well, I spent some time this afternoon with sweet Marsha. She asked me a lot of questions.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah.
    
    HUTCH: Like how many cows I got.
    
    STARSKY: Cows?
    
    HUTCH: Cows. If I was married, what my home address was.
    
    STARSKY: I suppose that you told her that you were overworked and undernourished
    and up to your navel in greenbacks.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, I told her. 
    
    STARSKY: Uh hm.
    
    HUTCH: You know, if she's trying to set me up,  She's no amateur. No, she's taking it slow and easy. A little ketchup. For my hot dog. How are you doing?
    
    STARSKY: Oh, pretty good. You know that guy, uh, we met at Ginger's?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, what's-his-name.
    
    STARSKY: A.C. Chambers.
    
    HUTCH: A.C. Chambers. 
    
    STARSKY: I found out that he brought her out of retirement and he finances
    and manages the place.
    
    HUTCH: Is that right?
    
    STARSKY: Mm-hm.
    
    HUTCH: Listen, uh, Ginger got you doing anything down at that studio besides teaching those little girls how to tango?
    
    STARSKY: Well, I hinted that I was up for a fast buck. All she's done so far is smile at me and call me a naughty boy. 
    Can I have a bite?
    
    HUTCH: A bite?
    
    STARSKY: Of your hot dog.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah, sure, go ahead.
    
    STARSKY: Thank you.
    
    HUTCH: You know, Starsky, if Tustin was killed through some extortion scam down at that studio-
    
    POLICE DISPATCHER: Attention all units. Attention all units in area of Wilson
    and Eighth. A silent alarm in market at that address has been triggered. Please respond.
    
    HUTCH: That's right near here.
    
    STARSKY: If we go in there, we're gonna blow our cover.
    
    HUTCH: So we blow our cover.
    
    STARSKY: Uh… Would you hold this, please?
    
    HUTCH: Sure.
    
    STARSKY: Thank you.
    
    
    **Exterior – Day – Owen’s Supermarket**
    
    HUTCH: Check the dude in the brown car.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah, may be the wheelman.
    
    HUTCH: Ah, excuse me, good buddy. My watch seems to have stopped here. I wonder… I wonder if you could tell me what time you have there. What kind of a spider is that?
    
    
    **In** **terior – Day –** **Owen’s** **Supermarket**
    
    ROBBER #1: Okay, everybody, stay cool, and this man will live to see the sunrise tomorrow.
    
    ROBBER #2: Come on. Hurry up.
    
    STORE OWNER: Okay, okay, okay.
    
    ROBBER #2: Come on, come on.
    
    STORE OWNER: Okay.
    
    ROBBER #2: Move out of the way. Move, move. Move out!
    
    STARSKY: Hey!
    
    (Fight ensues.) 
    
    HUTCH: All right, everybody get down or get out.
    
    
    **Exterior – Day – Owen’s Supermarket**
    
    ROBBER #1: Hey... Hey, how’d I know you guys was cops.
    
    PATROL OFFICER: What's going on here?
    
    STORE OWNER: They tried to rob me.
    
    PATROL OFFICER: You do that to them?
    
    STORE OWNER: Not me.
    
    PATROL OFFICER: Then who?
    
    STORE OWNER: You won't believe this. It was a blond cowboy and an Arab with funny shoes.
    
    PATROL OFFICER: Yup, I don't believe it.
    
    STORE OWNER: I knew you wouldn't.
    
    
    **Interior – Day - Morgue**
    
    TUSTIN: I’ll, uh… make the arrangements to send him home. Have you arrested my brother's killer yet?
    
    DOBEY: No. Uh, no, ma'am, not yet.
    
    TUSTIN: Why not?
    
    HUTCH: Miss Tustin, we don't know who he is.
    
    TUSTIN: But you must know something. You can't tell me a man of my brother's importance comes to your city, gets murdered, and you don't know anything.
    
    DOBEY: Miss Tustin, first order of this police department is to protect and serve everyone, including our visitors. (on phone) Yeah?
    
    STARSKY: Miss Tustin, would you like to sit down for a couple of minutes? Miss Tustin, we know we don't have any answers. Maybe you can help us find some. Now, we do know that your brother spent most of his time at a dance studio owned by Ginger Evans.
    
    TUSTIN: The old movie star?
    
    STARSKY: Yes. He spent most of his days there. 
    
    HUTCH: And he spent most of his nights with a dance instructor at the studio by the name of Marsha Stearns.
    
    TUSTIN: Yes. Ted's one failing. He loved his wife, adored his kids, but he loved to play.You think this girl was trying to blackmail him?
    
    STARSKY: That could be one of our answers.
    
    TUSTIN: You see, Teddy always… My brother always had a very bad temper. I mean, a really bad temper. He'd never stand still for something like this. 
    
    HUTCH: That might have been one of the reasons he was killed. 
    
    TUSTIN: Judging from the getup, you're posing as a student at this studio now, right?
    
    HUTCH: Yes, ma'am.
    
    TUSTIN: And you're the doorman?
    
    STARSKY: I'm the dance instructor.
    
    DOBEY: Well, we're fishing with the right bait.
    
    TUSTIN: What do you mean?
    
    DOBEY: That was Texas on the phone. Said they just had a call from a phoney credit firm, running a check on Charlie McCabe of Austin.
    
    TUSTIN: Who's Charlie McCabe?
    
    HUTCH: I am.
    
    DOBEY: If they're an extortion ring, we got the next victim.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Dance Studio**
    
    STEARNS: Thanks again for the corsage.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, it's nothing. I just have this thing about flowers, and I can't help myself. You know, Marsha, you make me feel like a regular Frank Astaire.
    
    STEARNS: Well, you're a very good student, Charlie.
    
    HUTCH: Listen, um… I'd sure as hell like to cut you out of the herd. Let you show me around town a little bit.
    
    STEARNS: Well, um, Ginger prefers that we maintain our student-teacher relationship on a purely professional level.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, I understand that. I was… I was just thinking that maybe what Ginger, Miss Evans, doesn't know can't hurt her. Marsha, honey, besides that, I got me a pocket full of money and a heart full of empty.
    
    STEARNS: Yeah?
    
    HUTCH: And I just know that we could work something out.
    
    STEARNS: Well, I don't know, Charlie. Um… Well, maybe after a few more dances. 
    Okay?
    
    HUTCH: Oh, now you're talking. Feet, do your thing.
    
    STARSKY: Actually, I'm from Argentina. I came here when I was a very little boy.
    I… I did not have it easy. And then… And then I came to this country, and I wanted so bad to dance. And I found it so difficult to communicate how to dance.
    Permiso. What are you doing here?
    
    TUSTIN: Trying to look rich and available.
    
    STARSKY: Miss Tustin, go home.
    
    TUSTIN: Don't call me that, you'll blow my cover, as they say.
    
    STARSKY: What?
    
    TUSTIN: I want you to introduce me here as Mrs. Millicent Forbes.
    
    STARSKY: Now, who is Millicent Forbes?
    
    TUSTIN: A girlfriend of mine from back home, married to a very rich fellow named John Forbes. I just spoke to them on the phone. If anyone checks or calls, John will say Millicent is here on a little vacation.
    
    STARSKY: You're really determined to go through with this, huh?
    
    TUSTIN: There's no way you can stop me. So why don't you ask me to dance.
    
    HUTCH: Is something wrong, sugar?
    
    STEARNS: Oh, no. No, I just thought I saw someone I knew. I was wrong.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah. Sure.
    
    TUSTIN: What are you looking at? Hmm?
    
    STARSKY: That blond guy. His name's Starger.
    
    TUSTIN: Looks like Cupid unloaded a full quiver on them.
    
    STARSKY: Ain't love grand.
    
    HUTCH: There she is!
    
    EVANS: Thank you. Good evening. And to all of you who are new to this magic place, welcome. My new home. And this is Mr. Chambers, who is responsible for it all. Why, he reopened doors that were too long closed for me. Lovely people who have created lovely things for us to enjoy. So welcome to this musical, magic, little world. Music, maestro, please. Now, everybody, dance. I believe this is our dance, Charlie.
    
    HUTCH: Yes, I believe it is, Ginger. Yes. 
    
    EVANS: Excuse us, Marsha. 
    
    HUTCH: Oh, I beg your pardon, sir.
    
    STARSKY: Don't beg.
    
    
    **Interior – Night – Dance Studio Office**
    
    DODSMAN: Carl, I have to talk to you about the other night. It was a mistake.
    
    STARGER: You don't love me anymore, Claire.
    
    DODSMAN: I'm married. I'm-
    
    CHAMBERS: Mrs. Dodsman, I'm sorry to take you away from the festivities, but this will only be a few moments.
    
    DODSMAN: Is something wrong?
    
    STARGER: Well, darling, we have what you might call a… a situation. But it is, uh, solvable. That is, if you're willing to cooperate with us.
    
    STARGER: (on tape) Claire, you're late.
    
    DODSMAN: I'm sorry, Carl. I couldn't get away. My husband insisted on taking me
    on this long, boring lunch.
    
    STARGER: Well, you're here now. That's all that matters.
    
    DODSMAN: Oh, Carl, my sweet boy.
    
    STARGER: Closer. Closer.
    
    DODSMAN: Oh, Carl. Do you mind if I turn out the lights? Oh, you know, I'm… Well, I'm not as young as I used to be. (tape ends)
    
    CHAMBERS: We, of course, have another copy of this tape.
    
    DODSMAN: My husband… You can't… You mustn't... You mustn't play this for him. It would just kill him.
    
    CHAMBERS: Mrs. Dodsman, we weren't planning on hurting you or your husband. It's just a business proposition. Actually, we don't want the tape. We want you to have it. And we thought $25,000 would be a fair price.
    
    DODSMAN: Well… It would take me a few days to, um… to get together that kind
    of money… without… causing my husband's suspicion.
    
    STARGER: That's understandable. We don't wanna put you under any unnecessary stress. You take all the time you need. Within reason, of course.
    
    CHAMBERS: Come, Mrs. Dodsman. Everything is going to be just fine. We'll keep in touch.
    
    
    Interior – Day – Dance Studio
    
    DODSMAN: Honey, I don't feel at all well. Do you mind if we go home?
    
    TUSTIN: The lady's upset.
    
    STARSKY: Very.
    
    TUSTIN: Ohhh. That's an ugly smile.
    
    STARSKY: Trouble in paradise.
    
    TUSTIN: Maybe he needs a new romance. Introduce me.
    
    STARSKY: No.
    
    TUSTIN: All right, I'll do it myself.
    
    STARSKY: Ah, Starger, permit me to introduce Mrs. Millicent Forbes.
    
    TUSTIN: How do you do?
    
    STARGER: How do you do?
    
    TUSTIN: Thank you.
    
    STARSKY: Permiso.
    
    
    **Interior – Night - Warehouse**
    
    HUGGY: It is now post time for the second race at Huggy's Mouse Downs. They're in the starting gate, and they're off! Here's comes Mouse of War! It's Mouse of War and Cheesebiscuit! And it's Mouse of War and Cheesebiscuit by a length! It's Mouse of War by a length. It's Mouse of War by a length and a half! Chesebiscuit second. And Little Lil shows! Yeah, baby. Have your money on Mouse of War. Mouse of War's the winner, Cheesebiscuit second and Cat's Meow is third. And sorry, ladies and gentlemen, there are no winners.
    
    HUTCH: Hey, good buddy, come on over here a minute.
    
    HUGGY: Oh, sorry, cowboy.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, I'll tell you right now, that mouse is no racehorse. That's a rat.
    
    HUGGY: Hey, breeding tells, cowboy. You should know that.
    
    HUTCH: Four, five.
    
    HUGGY: I loves a good loser.
    
    HUTCH: You love a loser so much, tell you what I'm gonna do.
    
    HUGGY: What's that?
    
    HUGCH: I'm gonna put about 500 on that, uh… That pinto down there.
    
    HUGGY: Pinto? That pinto ain't no pinto. He's moulting.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah? Well, that's better yet. That's good. I'll put down 1,000 on that. That's less weight.
    
    HUGGY: A thousand?
    
    HUTCH: That's right.
    
    HUGGY: What you trying to do? At 12-to-1, I can't cover those odds. Uh, maybe I can cover 200.
    
    HUTCH: 200? Listen, good buddy, 200's hardly worth my time.
    
    STEARNS: Come on, Charlie, let's go.
    
    HUTCH: Now, look, honey lamb, I'm just looking for a little action.
    
    STEARNS: Well, I got some… at my place.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry. I think you just said the magic word. I guess we'll be moving along. Good night. You don't wanna forget your flower, now, do you?
    
    STEARNS: Oh.
    
    HUGGY: At her place, huh? That's cool. And this is the third race at Mouse Downs, and it's Little Minnie at 3-to-1, Cheesebiscuit at 2-to-1. And they're off!
    
    
    **Interior – Night – Stearns’ Apartment**
    
    STEARNS: Come on in, darling. How do you wet your whistle, Charlie?
    
    HUTCH: You can give me two fingers of bourbon, straight up.
    
    STEARNS: Ooh, my kind of man.
    
    HUTCH: What'd you get yourself into, Hutchinson? You sure got a nice spread.
    
    STEARNS: Well, I'm glad you like it.
    
    HUTCH: I was talking about the room here.
    
    STEARNS: Oh.
    
    HUTCH: But that's nice too.
    
    STEARNS: Here, love. To good times.
    
    HUTCH: To good times. 
    
    STEARNS: Aw.
    
    HUTCH: Mercy. Good Time Charlie, that's my name. 
    
    STEARNS: Uh, if you're gonna try and rope and brand me, cowboy, why don't we just move over to the couch.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, hot damn, I think I could go for that. Just be a second. That's my wife.
    
    STEARNS: Your wife.
    
    HUTCH: Come on.
    
    STEARNS: Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
    
    HUTCH: What is it?
    
    STEARNS: The lights.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah.
    
    STEARNS: Ah, ah.
    
    HUTCH: What now?
    
    STEARNS: The lights.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, yeah.
    
    STEARNS: Now, Charlie.
    
    HUTCH: Did you wanna get rid of...?
    
    STEARNS: Oh.
    
    HUTCH: Thank you. They're fogging up.
    
    STEARNS: Oh, Charlie. You got a real nice chest.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Dance Studio Office**
    
    HUTCH: (on tape) This old thing? Why, I've had this since I was a kid.
    
    STEARNS: Oh, Charlie, you are colorful.
    
    HUTCH: Well, let's get on with it. (end)
    
    STEARNS: I'll tell you, he's more than colourful. Seems almost a shame to charge him money.
    
    STEARNS: (on tape) Oh, Charlie. Oh. 
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Police Precinct**
    
    DOBEY: Hutchinson, you really look whipped.
    
    HUTCH: Work, work, work. You know how some night duty can wear you out.
    
    DOBEY: You think they taped you last night?
    
    HUTCH: Captain, if they didn't, they should have.
    
    DOBEY: Well, you'll probably hear a playback in a day or two.
    
    HUTCH: I'll rest up.
    
    DOBEY: Now, Miss Tustin, what Detective Starsky told you before still goes.
    We really don't want you involved in this.
    
    TUSTIN: I'm already involved.
    
    DOBEY: How so?
    
    TUSTIN: My friends in Oklahoma phoned me this morning. Someone called and asked
    if Millicent Forbes was home.
    
    STARSKY: You must've made quite an impression on pretty boy.
    
    TUSTIN: He's taking me to dinner tonight after our lesson this afternoon, and then another of Ginger's parties tomorrow night.
    
    STARSKY: Miss Tustin, I, uh… We don't want you to do that.
    
    TUSTIN : Mr. Starsky, it's my business with whom I go out. Don't worry. I'm sure you'll solve this case before I compromise my virtue.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Dance Studio**
    
    EVANS: Oh, that is lovely, twinkle toes. Everybody, think of your rhythm. Oh, I'm so proud of you all.
    
    STEARNS: Charlie, I'm happy to see you.
    
    HUTCH: Boy, I sure am too, honey. Here. This is for you.
    
    STEARNS: Oh, another one. Ah, come on. We've got something to talk about.
    
    HUTCH: What about our terpsichore?
    
    STEARNS: Later, baby. Come on.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, I see. It's private, huh?
    
    STEARNS: What?
    
    HUTCH: It's private.
    
    STEARNS: Yeah, real private. Come on.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Dance Studio Office**
    
    STEARNS: Charlie, you remember Mr. Cham... Charlie.
    
    HUTCH: Oh.
    
    STEARNS: Mr. Chambers. He, uh, manages the place for Ginger.
    
    HUTCH: Of course I do. How are you, good buddy?
    
    CHAMBERS: Nice to see you.
    HUTCH: Good to see you again.
    
    STEARNS: Well, I'll just let you two get reacquainted.
    
    HUTCH: Uh, excuse me. Marsha, we, uh…
    
    STEARNS: Bye for now.
    
    CHAMBERS: Sit down, McCabe. Be comfortable.
    
    HUTCH: Well, thank you very much.
    
    CHAMBERS: Cigarette?
    
    HUTCH: No, thank you. I...
    
    CHAMBERS: Well, let me light that for you.
    
    HUTCH: Thank you.
    
    CHAMBERS: You, uh, drink bourbon straight, right?
    
    HUTCH: How did you know that?
    
    CHAMBERS: We know quite a lot about you, McCabe.
    
    HUTCH: Well, it's a little early for me, thank you.
    
    CHAMBERS: Relax.
    
    HUTCH: Well, thank you.
    
    STEARNS: (on tape) Oh, Charlie. You've got a real nice chest.
    
    HUTCH: This old thing? Why, I've had this since I was a kid.
    
    STEARNS: Charlie, you are colorful. Oh, Charlie. (end) 
    
    HUTCH: Well, now. I didn't figure the lady took me home with her because she was so thrilled with my dancing. But I sure as hell didn't think anythinglike this was gonna happen. No, sir. How much is this gonna cost me?
    
    CHAMBERS: Well, we figured, um, the preservation of your marriage, probably worth, uh, 30,000?
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, I reckon it is.
    
    CHAMBERS: You can bring it right here.
    
    HUTCH: No, I'm not gonna do that, Mr. Chambers. I don't trust you.
    
    CHAMBERS: Okay. You pick a place.
    
    HUTCH: Well, I'm a stranger here in this town, you know, and, uh… I do own a...
    I do own a ship, a freighter. It's berthed down at the end of Pier 17. It's called Mara Quatro.
    
    CHAMBERS: I know where that is. What time?
    
    HUTCH: 2:00.
    
    CHAMBERS: Somebody will be there.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah. Oh, by the way… I'm only gonna pay you one time. And if you come back for more, you're a dead man, boy.
    
    CHAMBERS: Well done, my dear.
    
    STEARNS: Spare the roses. We got a problem. That woman with Carl, the one that calls herself Millicent Forbes.
    
    CHAMBERS: What about her?
    
    STEARNS: She's Tustin's sister.
    
    CHAMBERS: What are you talking about?
    
    STEARNS: When I was hustling Tustin, he showed me snapshots of his children with his wife and his sister. It's been driving me crazy, trying to remember where I'd seen her before. But now I'm sure of it. Millicent Forbes is Tustin's sister. 
    
    STARGER: But I checked her out.
    
    STEARNS: Yeah, well, I hope you checked out that new instructor Ramon too. There's something going on with them. 
    
    CHAMBERS: Like what?
    
    STEARNS: I don't know. Something. Ramon was the one that introduced her to Starger.
    
    CHAMBERS: I, uh, don't think I like this. All of the sudden it feels wrong. Like we're being set up. Yeah, that's exactly how it feels, like we're being set up.
    The question is, by whom?
    
    
    **Exterior – Day - Park**
    
    STARGER: What's the chief of detectives doing with those two guys?
    
    MUSCLE: What?
    
    STARGER: His name is Dobey. He's the captain of the police department. That can only mean one thing. Our friends Ramon and the cowboy are cops, too.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Dance Studio Office**
    
    CHAMBERS: Cops. I knew it. I knew it felt like a setup.
    
    STARGER: So you're a smart guesser. Point is, we gotta burn that cop before he burns us.
    
    CHAMBERS: First thing we've got to do is to put Tustin's sister where nobody can find her. Then you'll meet our toy cowboy for the payoff.
    
    STARGER: Are you crazy? They'll have half the force out for us. We gotta hire someone to make the hit.
    
    CHAMBERS: We have no time to set it up.
    
    STARGER: Then maybe we just ought to split.
    
    CHAMBERS: Oh, no. No, if we run, they'll move in, and I am not ready to lose this whole operation. Not yet. Hit him before he gets to the payoff spot, and then get the hell out of there. Without him, they've got no case that'll stand up. First we're gonna make a phone call.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Tustin’s Hotel Room**
    
    TUSTIN: Hello? Yes.
    
    STARGER: Carl.
    
    TUSTIN: My, we're up early this morning.
    
    STARGER: I wanna see you.
    
    TUSTIN: You're going to tonight.
    
    STARGER: No, I've gotta see you now. It's important. It's about the studio. But I can't talk to you on the phone. Can you meet me somewhere?
    
    TUSTIN: All right, where?
    
    STARGER: 811 Walsh Avenue.
    
    TUSTIN: 811 Walsh. Half an hour?
    
    STARGER: I'll be waiting.
    
    
    Interior – Day – Dobey’s Office
    
    HUTCH: You see, Captain, there's this old freighter down here at the end of Pier 17. 
    
    DOBEY: Uh hum. 
    
    HUTCH: I told him I owned it.
    
    STARSKY: What?
    
    HUTCH: When you got it, boy, flaunt it. Anyway, I told Chambers that I'd meet
    him there for the payoff.
    
    DOBEY: Hey, uh, Mr. Valentino, would you dance over to the phone and get Marianne Tustin on the phone?
    
    STARSKY: You got it.
    
    DOBEY: Tell her to forget about that romance with that gigolo. This is gonna be kinky. It's hard to make an extortion rap stick unless one of them actually accepts the cash for the tape.
    
    STARSKY: (on phone) Miss Tustin, please.
    
    HUTCH: I know that, Captain. I'll make sure the guy has it firmly in his hand before I give him the bad news.
    
    STARSKY: All right. Please do. (end)
    
    DOBEY: Did you get her?
    
    STARSKY: She's not in her room.
    
    DOBEY: Well, we'll call later. All right, let's go get that 30,000 in marked bills. Starsky, please. By the way, what happened to that 300 I gave you for that, uh, lady to impress her?
    
    STARSKY: It was 500.
    
    DOBEY: Well, what happened to it?
    
    HUTCH: Well, would you believe it if I told you that a mouse by the name of Squeaky Dancer stole it from me?
    
    DOBEY: No, I wouldn't.
    
    HUTCH: Okay, I won't tell you.
    
    
    **Exterior – Day – Pier 17**
    
    STARSKY: Did I ever tell you about the time I used to drive a hack? You interested?
    
    HUTCH: Not particularly.
    
    STARSKY: (on radio) Captain Dobey.
    
    DOBEY: Dobey. Over.
    
    STARSKY: Captain Dobey, it's a beautiful day. The seagulls are flapping, and we're entering the docks.
    
    DOBEY: Well, we're set and waiting. (end)
     
    STARSKY: I hate to bring up an ugly subject, but where's the boat?
    
    HUTCH: What boat?
    
    STARSKY: That's what I was afraid of.
    
    HUTCH: Oh, that boat. It's around the corner.
    
    STARSKY: Oh. You mean piers have corners?
    
    HUTCH: Does a cow meow? Hey! Hey, that was on my side. Make a left! Make a left!
    
    STARSKY: (on radio) Dobey, Dobey, we got an ambush! Will you get back? I can't see a thing.
    
    HUTCH: Hey, Starsk?
    
    STARSKY: What? 
    
    HUTCH: No offense, man, but I think I'm gonna walk. Just let me out, will you? Just let me take a walk.
    
    STARSKY: All right. See you around. Okay, now, hold it right there. Pick that gun right up with your fingertips. Go ahead, come on, come on, come on.
    
    DOBEY: What are you doing?
    
    STARSKY: Now, you just hold it right there.
    
    DOBEY: What's going on, Starsky?
    
    STARSKY: How do I know? Our covers must have been blown.
    
    HUTCH: Captain, there was no payoff. This whole thing was a setup.
    
    DOBEY: That's why Marianne Tustin's not at her hotel. She can't be found anywhere.
    
    STARSKY: All right, where is she?
    
    STARGER: I don't know where she is. I don't know what you're talking about.
    
    STARSKY: Hutch, take it up.
    
    HUTCH: Okay, Charlie.
    
    STARGER: Come on, what's he doing? Let us down. Come on!
    
    STARSKY: Okay, take her up.
    
    DOBEY: Starsky! Hutch! Put them down and stop clowning around.
    
    STARSKY: Hey, you know how to handle one of these things?
    
    HUTCH: Of course I do. My granddad was a farmer.
    
    STARSKY: That's pretty good. I just hope you know what you're doing.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, well, I'm a little rusty. Starsk, if I do drop this thing, does it float?
    
    STARSKY: I don't know, but there's one way to find out.
    
    DOBEY: Come on, you guys. Put them down.
    
    STARSKY: More. More. Little bit more. Little bit more. Perfect. One more time. Where is she?
    
    STARGER: Okay. Okay. Chambers had her picked up. He was taking her to his house.
    
    STARSKY: Let's go. It's all yours, Cap.
    
    DOBEY: All right. All right, you men come down from there and when you hit the ground, put your hands in the air. Come on. Come on down here. Easy. Easy!
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Chambers’ House**
    
    STARGKY: Chambers, like the song says, I know that you know, so let's not play any games. Where's Miss Tustin?
    
    CHAMBERS: Tustin? I don't know the lady.
    
    STARSKY: Look, I want- Hey. I got a partner.
    
    HUTCH: Won't be any roses this time.
    
    STARSKY: You okay? So… how do you like police work? Hmm? Oh, you want me to untie you? Oh. Gonna behave yourself? Promise?
    
    TUSTIN: Mm-hm.
    
    STARSKY: Okay?
    
    TUSTIN: Promise.
    
    STARSKY: Yeah.
    
    
    **Interior – Day – Dobey’s Office**
    
    
    HUTCH: I don't believe it, Starsk. You gotta be out of your mind.
    
    STARSKY: Will you relax? Dobey's down at City Hall, he won't know the difference. Come on. Will you come on?
    
    HUTCH: I don't wanna.
    
    STARSKY: Oh, come on, will you?
    
    HUTCH: Listen, I didn't learn anything down at that studio, and I'm not gonna learn anything here.
    
    STARSKY: You are. I promise you. This'll knock them dead. Come on, now. 
    
    HUTCH: I'll lead. 
    
    STARSKY: I'll lead. I'm teaching. You ready? And one and two and-
    
    EVANS: Am I interrupting something?
    
    STARSKY: Uh, hi, Ginger.
    
    HUTCH: Yeah, come on in. What's on your mind?
    
    EVANS: Well, I've just spoken to your captain. And he explained there will
    be no charges made against me. Marsha made a full statement. It's a pity you're not with us anymore. Deidre is so depressed. She says, "No one can dip like Ramon."
    
    STARSKY: Well, tell her Ramon sends his very best.
    
    EVANS: Oh, it takes two to tango. Well, goodbye, boys.
    
    HUTCH: Goodbye, Ginger. "Tell her Ramon sends his best." No one says dip like Ramon.
    
    STARSKY: Hey. When you got it, flaunt it, boy.
    
    END


End file.
